I was innocently wending my way through Yahoo News this morning, and thought I was having a serious allergy-induced hallucination when I read the headline:
"Sir Richard Branson ice cubes take off on Virgin"
What could that headline possibly mean, I thought?
Did he design ice cubes for his airline?
Did they capitalize the word 'virgin' by mistake and it's actually some kinky British sex play I've never heard of?
Oh no, don't tell me...surely not...
Oh, yes, he did...just take a look:
Yip, ice cubes with Richard Branson's visage, cheesy, horsey grin and all, are offered on board Virgin Atlantic flights.
Oh, and only to 'Upper Class' passengers, of course. Heaven forbid the hoi polloi on Virgin flights should have their beverages graced with those ice cubes. Branson may parade around as the dashing, iconoclastic 'people's billionaire,' but he's still an elitist schmuck at heart.
The Yahoo articles goes on to say that, "Virgin claims that the creation of the
cubes required a team of four designers a "painstaking" six weeks to craft,
using "laser scanning technology" to match the likeness of his face."
Uh huh.
Who are these fricking people?!
I wonder who'll be the first to choke to death on one of these Bransoned ice cubes as they stand at the Upper Class bar twirling their Johnnie Walker in their hand? And will their family sue Branson himself? I'm sure there would be an American attorney who would find just cause.
And just in case you thought the above pic was some grim piece of Photoshopping, here's another pic showing a Virgin stewardess grinning inanely as she holds up one of these little cubes:
Makes you want to smack her face.
It's the sheer chutzpah of this man that defies all logic.
I have no doubt that Branson thought he was being deliciously ironic when he agreed to these ice cubes, when all he was being was vintage Branson - a super rich, super vain, total twat and nincompoop.
Do you get my point?
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