RAVE: The Cup Runneth Over (and Out)

The 2010 football World Cup comes to an end today. South Africa has done itself proud. It has showcased a (mostly) well run and well-regarded World Cup. As I always knew it would. Perhaps now a few less Americans will think we all live in huts without electricity (well, a few million amongst us actually do, but that's a whole other issue) and walk on dirt roads alongside herds of antelope, lions and elephants.

The month has gone by quickly, it must be said. And, whilst there were some great goals and a (very few) great matches, I must admit that I'm actually quite happy that this whole event is finally coming to an end.

For the following, I am most grateful:

• No more vuvuzelas
• No more being a FIFAdom. Now we can just be corrupt, South African style
• No more of those tiresome and endless countdowns
• No more overpaid, over-pampered and overrated football 'stars'
• No more of those garish yellow shirts worn by locals 'supporting our boys' every Friday
• No more ersatz patriotism
• No more flags, flags, flags everywhere...and I mean everywhere
• No more South Africans feeling 'proudly African' (whilst being the most xenophobic Africans on the continent)
• No more vuvuzelas
• No more yucky, gut-churning local adverts with 'rousing', viva South Africa themes
• No more Shakira warbling that horrible 'Waka Waka' song 
• No more the words '2010' having so much (too much) meaning for an entire nation
• No more bloody World Cup
• Did I mention no more vuvuzelas?

For all these reasons, and more, I am grateful.

Now on to the post-Cup revelations and scandals and national depression. It may be a bumpy ride.

RANT: King Shaka Would've Wept

South Africa has fared commendably well in hosting the 2010 World Cup. Our FIFAdom has done the world's biggest football showcase proud (not to mention the money-grabbing FIFA capos and local elite, of course).

But there have been some major gaffes along the way. The Bavaria beer mini skirted Dutch lasses come to mind. But few things about this World Cup have infuriated me more than the debacle that occurred at King Shaka International Airport in Durban on Wednesday night. Okay, the infernal vuvuzela has infuriated me more, but this comes damn close.

It was the night that Spain were playing Germany in the semi-finals of the Cup at the Durban stadium. So, naturally, the airport was quite busy with flights coming in and out. So busy that three aircraft, two from Johannesburg and one from Cape Town, were forced to return to their departure airports because there were no parking bays available.

Yip, that's right, a purpose-built spanking brand new airport which cost R6.8-billion (almost a billion US dollars) and dubbing itself 'International' just couldn't cope with a few extra domestic flights. So much for planning, guys.

The kind of planning that would have made the famous Zulu warrior, King Shaka, roar with anger. Or weep in shame.

But it gets better. The actual reason given by the Airports Company South Africa (ACSA) as to why the three planes had to return was because...wait for it, because it's jaw-dropping stuff... there were simply too many 'VIP' jets on the tarmac that refused to budge.

What?!

That's right. A bunch of VIP jets had supposedly parked willy-nilly all over the tarmac (as one would expect at an international airport during an international event) AND, better still, flatly refused to budge when asked to do so by air traffic control.

As a result, 700 people were left stranded back in Johannesburg and Cape Town. And many of them were football fans who had spent small fortunes on flights and tickets to attend the semi-final in Durban.

Have you ever heard such outrageous crap in all your life?!

Let's consider:

1. Since when does an airport authority and traffic control get told what to do by any airplane or any pilot sitting on any tarmac at any airport?
2. What happened to that trusted, ages-old stalwart which is absolutely mandatory for any flight anywhere in the world, namely a flight plan? You know - the one that allows a flight to take off from one place so that it may actually land at its pre-scheduled destination? Barring inclement weather or security issues or some type of emergency, why else should an aircraft not land at its destination?
3. A fleet of jets belonging to a bunch of self-important VIP tossers who are too arrogant and self-important to shift on a tarmac is not an emergency.
4. Would these same aircraft pilots for these Very Very Important People dare to pull such a stunt at an airport in Europe? Or the United States? Or most other countries for that matter? No, of course they wouldn't dare. But this is Africa - so to hell with us and our silly little aviation needs and rules.
5. Who exactly are these 'Very Important People' who can have their jets do as they please at an airport and have ACSA running around like headless chickens and making the most appallingly stupid excuses to these passengers and the South African public the next day? I want to see a list of these pompous, arrogant schmucks.
6. If this isn't a superb example of just how elitist and 'VIP'-whored this World Cup (and the world in general these days) has become, then I don't know what is.
7. Is it any surprise that some of these pesky little VIP jets belonged to FIFA? Enough said.

On their website's homepage, ACSA has a press release entitled "ACSA claries the King Shaka International Airport congestion". I think they meant to say clarifies. Ahem.

And that word "congestion" does rather rankle.

The latest travesty is that, after much outcry by passengers and the media alike, ACSA has now deigned to reimburse those passengers who had the Trip From Hell that night. BUT, let it be known, only those people who can prove that they had tickets for the game that night and were intending to attend. So to hell with those other suckers that night on those three aircraft who just happened to be flying to Durban for whatever other (clearly totally irrelevant) reasons. They lose all their money. That does make sense.

ACSA has been nothing short of an embarrassment. This entire debacle has been nothing short of an embarrassment.

The capitulation to those who consider themselves above the law and, of course, the rest of us is beyond embarrassing. It's disgusting in its blatant and feudalistic elitism.

So much for having an 'equal and fair' playing ground for all fans at this year's FIFA(dom) World Cup.

Do you get my point?

RANT: Ersatz Patriotism

In just over a week the 2010 World Cup will come to an end in South Africa. To be brutally honest, thank goodness.

Not only has the football been mostly far from scintillating, but both the teams I was supporting, Italy and Portugal, are out. And deserve to be out, by the way. So now I'm left with supporting Argentina - who I do believe deserve it, have played mostly well and, well, Argentina under Maradona would just be a terrific winner. The only other team remaining that I can remotely support are Germany - and they're up against Argentina in a quarter-final. Typical.

It's also been a World Cup for me blighted by the worst gift South Africa has given to the world since apartheid - that wretched vuvuzela.

But I think another thing that has so irked me about this World Cup is all the rampant patriotism that I've seen around the country and had to endure for the last few months, and especially in the last few weeks. It has been an absolute overdose.

 Flags, flags, flags everywhere. Even I (half-hearted) got into it by buying a huge Portuguese flag for my mom (fat lot of good that did) and even wore an Italy bracelet and scarf given to me by said mom (even bigger fat lot of good...). I was even given a small Italian flag to have fluttering from my car. I guess that's where my I drew the line.

I used to love flags - now I bloody hate them.

Why is that? I really can't say. I'm not feeling particularly Scrooge-esque these days. I really did try and get into it all. After all, I've always enjoyed the World Cup. Perhaps it's because it seemed somehow so forced for me to get into that, that for others to be doing it just seemed silly and trite. Who knows, perhaps that is Scrooge-esque of me.

Maybe it was just too much damn build-up to this World Cup in this country. Billboards, electronic signs and newspapers kept us on a breathless daily countdown to the opening day as if our very lives depended on it. For months every Friday leading up to the World Cup many locals would get all togged up in the national soccer shirt of South Africa. Never mind that the garish yellow and green strip is kitsch and ugly beyond belief. I know that for me it was one of most utterly annoying little 'traditions' in living memory. It just annoyed the hell out of me to see all of this money being spent on crappy, ugly FIFAdom shirts in a country with nearly 40% unemployment, an utterly crap and corrupt government and one one of the most racially fractured populations on the planet.

And we got flooded with an endless stream of advert after advert of how 'just how immensely proud we are to be hosts of the 2010 World Cup', all set to the most searingly rousing (read: painful) and tear-inducing music and images. It was enough to make one puke. I nearly did on a few occasions.

Yeah, yeah, we were the hosts, but it seemed a put-on - too much effort for a nation with an entirely schizophrenic and divided national character.

I can't wait to be back to a Friday when I don't have to be assaulted by all those awful canary yellow shirts.

Even today I nearly burst out laughing when I walked into my local video store and, it being a Friday, all the employees had their yellow South Africa football shirts on! Puh-leeze! South Africa didn't even make it through the first round and got eliminated from the tournament over a week ago, for crying out loud!

It's all so unconvincing. It's ersatz patriotism.

Perhaps upon reflection I can surmise that my antipathy to all this ersatz flag-waving paraphernalia has to do with the world in which we live. A world that seems more corporate and less 'national' than ever. A world where national governments seem more inept than ever and more willing to kowtow to corporatist fascism and global finance. A world where over-pampered, overrated and overly arrogant prima donnas like Christiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney and that Frenchman Anelka can't even play well enough for their own countries to even justify why they earn such obscene amounts of money for just kicking a ball around.

When I consider all that, I guess all this flag-waving and chest-thumping just seems hollow and puerile. Unconvincing. Ersatz.

So for now I'll watch a few of the remaining games and hope that Argentina goes on to win. And quietly hide my Italian flag away, of course.

And I'll reflect upon a time when flags and national anthems and all that really did stir something inside me during the World Cup or any like event. And wonder why now it all seems so much like pantomime.

Do you get my point?

RAVE: Book of the Month - "Foul!" by Andrew Jennings

My rave for tonight is with regard to the best book I read during this month of May. Its entitled "Foul! - The Secret World of FIFA: Bribes, Vote Rigging and Ticket Scandals" by Andrew Jennings, a top UK-based investigative journalist.

It seems so utterly appropriate to have my last post on this particular issue on the very eve of the World Cup here in South Africa.

This book just puts the entire shameful 2010 World Cup debacle (as I discussed at length in an earlier post on this blog) into such sharper focus.

The blurb on "Foul!" on http://www.amazon.com/ describes the book very well: "Andrew Jennings, the world's foremost investigative sports reporter, spent four years delving into the dark side of 'the beautiful game'. The result is this explosive and damning expose of the officials that run football's world governing body FIFA - a story of how the 'men in suits' put personal ambition and money before the fans on the terraces. No individual has managed to penetrate the secret world of FIFA. Until now. Andrew Jennings, the world's leading sports investigative reporter, has unearthed the stories that FIFA doesn't want told. He blows the whistle on an international cash-for-contracts scandal and reveals how some football officials have been urged to secretly repay the sweeteners they received. He asks why FIFA President delayed acting against troubled marketing company ISL, who wrongly withheld GBP 45 million of FIFA's cash. He exposes the vote-rigging that went on behind closed doors in the fight for control of FIFA. Jennings has researched in the Americas, Africa, Asia and Europe. He has uncovered damning evidence and persuaded FIFA insiders to talk to him about the questionable business practices they've witnessed. "Foul!'s" mix of world-class probing journalism, compelling storytelling and dark humour make this the most important book ever written about the men who control the people's game." 

It's suffice to say that the book is pure genius. Jennings takes no prisoners in what is a stunning and insightful expose of the putridly corrupt organization that is FIFA. This is page-turning, gripping and compulsive investigative journalism at its best.

Jennings previously blew the lid off another putrid world sports organization, namely the International Olympic Committee (IOC), entitled "The Great Olympic Swindle: When the World Wanted Its Games Back", co-written in 2000 with Clare Sambrook. That is one book I simply must get my hands on ASAP, if his brilliant book :Foul!" is anything to go on!

It is one scandal after another, with a particular focus on the current President of FIFA, one Herr Sepp Blatter and his posse of cronies and lackeys, all corrupt and venal to some extent or another. Blatter comes off mightily badly - as he should do, given the overwhelming evidence of his explicit and tacit dealings in the corrupt cesspool that is FIFA today.

Former President of FIFA, the odious Brazilian, Joao Havelange, and the head of the CONCACAF football federation (the federation for North and Central America and the Caribbean), a certain Jack Warner from Trinidad and Tobago, also come off particularly badly, corrupt bastards that they are.

Jennings shows in no uncertain terms just how tarnished and muddied the Beautiful Game has become. Awash with money and influence, yes, but rotten to the core.

His writing style is crisp, easily read and unravels itself, layer by enticing layer, like a top-class whodunit.

Besides, what's not to love and admire about a man who write a book that FIFA wanted banned?!

Enough said. He's a class act, is Mr. Jennings. And his book is a class read.

NOT the Man of the Day: Sepp Blatter

Sepp Blatter is an unethical and corrupt man with much power and influence on the world sporting stage. This little Swiss man is the much-reviled President of FIFA, the world governing body for football, the Beautiful Game.

And he is most certainly NOT my Man of the Day.

I have total contempt for this man given that under his tutelage FIFA has simply gone from bad to worse. His predecessor, the Brazilian Joao Havelange, was no angel. In fact, Havelange set the stage and the momentum for FIFA becoming the insanely corrupt and greedy organization that it has now become. That was one big, corrupt swine of a man. The seemingly innocuous and 'pleasant' Sepp Blatter seemed to be a breath of fresh air when he took office in 1998, but that notion was very short-lived. The man puts even Havelange to shame. And that's stiff competition.

The man seems to attract scandal like George W. Bush attracts contempt. His tenure at the head of FIFA has been rife with allegations of corruption and backroom dealings, including:

- His 2008 election in which he beat Lennart Johansson, the Swedish and much-respected and, initially, favoured head of the European football federation, UEFA, is mired in allegations (and much evidence, by the  way) of election rigging, vote-buying and even false delegates at the election (i.e. the absent delegate from Haiti having a woman who happened to be a mate of the head of the CONCACAF federation, and huge Blatter supporter, stand in to vote as the Haitian 'proxy'!)

- His 2002 election mired by even more election-rigging and vote-buying allegations. Yet again, the Haitian delegate was not present, this time with the French-speaking nation 'represented' at the election conference by none other than a delegate with a decidedly Jamaican accent!)

- Ditto more allegations at the 2006 election.

- Head of a FIFA that is anathema to its slogan of 'Fair Play for a Fair Game' when it comes to its own business dealings. FIFA is today the very embodiment of unfair play in the way it extorts money for copyrights during a World Cup, with the upcoming 2010 World Cup in South Africa its most extreme and disgusting display of monopolistic, Mafia-style flexing of its corporatist brand clout. There are countless other examples of just how corrupt and unethical FIFA is in many of its dealings. And Sepp Blatter is centre stage every step of the way.

It is only fitting that I revile this man in my blog on the eve of the World Cup in South Africa. After all, his falsely benign, even beatific visage is going to be splashed all over our screens and newspaper and online print for weeks to come. It's the very least I could do against the corrupt little weasel. A weasel of a man who was the leading force in the collusion of FIFA with the super-corrupt and super-rich elite of this country in making sure that they all pocketed the biggest profits to be made from the country playing host.

World football deserves so much better than this man of little stature, both physical and moral.

Sepp Blatter is the epitome of everything I deplore about Switzerland and the Swiss - a smug little nation made of rude, smug people which parades its 'squeaky clean', super-efficient facade before the world as if it were superior to everyone else. Yet, just like Herr Blatter, it hides its true self - secretive, corrupt and full of skeletons in its gilded closet.

Herr Blatter looks decidedly drawn and worried in the picture of him in this post. So he should be - the contemptible little man that yields way too much power and influence that he is.

RANT: World Cup Sham(e)

I have been putting off writing this particular post for nearly a month now. It is so overdue. And now I simply must get it written...

This rant is about what should have been and what, unfortunately, and much to the detriment of an entire nation, has actually happened.

The FIFA 2010 World Cup to be hosted here in South Africa is almost upon us. In just over ten days the eyes of the world will be upon this southern tip of Africa as it becomes the first African country to host the world's biggest sporting extravaganza, barring the Olympic Games. The atmosphere here in Johannesburg is palpable, as I'm sure it is in other major cities in the country - flags billow from just about every corner and business, and even small flags flutter from the sides and tops of people's cars, the refrain of 'Our Time Has Come' is endless and constant.

Ever since South Africa won the vote to host the Cup back on May 15th 2004 this country has been readying itself for this momentous occasion. And the momentum has been gathering pace, especially in the past few months. Just saying '2010' has become synonymous with a nation's destiny, it would seem.

And now the time is almost here.

And what a huge disappointment it is all turning out to be.

That is not to say that South Africa won't put out all the stops to ensure a great show and even make a success of being host to the World Cup. I'm quite sure South Africa will do well, even very well, as host. There will almost certainly be a few hiccups. And one can only hope that cowardly terrorist bastards won't use the Cup to set off bombs or otherwize terrorise innocent fans and people. That is my most fervent wish for this Cup. South Africa should do well - very well, in fact. And it deserves that.

It's all the promises and nonsense hype and selling out of this nation and its people by the government and elite that upsets me no end. South Africans were promised a world event that would change this country, somehow fantastically transform it in its post-apartheid nation-building. What crap. The World Cup in this country has come to mean corruption, false promises and outright greed, both corporate and governmental.

The list, unfortunately, is endless.

Enter FIFA...

1. The South African organizers have sold out this country lock, stock and barrel to one of the most corrupt, disgusting professional bodies on the planet, namely FIFA. This Zurich-based organization for world football would make the Mafia blush, so secretive, unethical and corrupt are its business practices. More on that another time. For the purpose of this post, it is enough to state that , thanks to the sell-out by South Africa to FIFA, the following words are copyrighted exclusively to FIFA here in South Africa:

- '2010'
- 'football'
- 'soccer'
- 'World Cup'
- 'FIFA World Cup'
- '2010 World Cup'
- ' June 11th to July 11th 2010' [the duration of the World Cup)
- and any similar words

And this for the entire duration leading up to and including the entire period of the World Cup. That means that any company, corporation, person or any entity whatsoever that wishes to use those words in their promotions or for their products can only do so after paying royalties to FIFA. And I mean any.

Already countless organizations, companies and people have been threatened with legal action and even taken to South African courts for 'infringing' these copyrights held by FIFA for the World Cup. An entire program on one of the most popular South African radio stations last week was dedicated to just this astounding state of legal affairs. It was reported that South African courts are already getting jammed with these lawsuits and injunctions by FIFA and the organizing committee here in South Africa against companies and individuals. And it is known that South African judges won't even look at the merits of the defendant's case when they learn that FIFA et al are the litigants. No case. FIFA has copyright. Next.

FIFA got mega-lucky in that South African law courts are notoriously pro-property rights over individual rights. Thanks very much, you local legal bastards.

2. Stories I have personally heard, almost all concerning black entrepreneurs or local businesses, abound as to how people thought they could make a little money (or even, heaven forbid) a lot of good money out of South Africa being host nation, only to be stopped in their tracks by the FIFA crowd brandishing their copyrights. These include:

- a female entrepreneur who tried to get trinkets made by local artists in the shape of footballs over a year ago only to be told that she was forbidden to do so as she had no copyright from FIFA;

- another female (as well as black, let it be known) entrepreneur who bought a fast food franchise near a host stadium, hoping to cash in on early 2010 business, as well as, obviously, on business during the Cup itself, only to face an injunction ordering her not to open until after the World Cup is finished. That is, have a fast food joint ready but not open for business for five months or more. She has stated she will almost certainly be forced to go out of business even before she's allowed to open for business;

- a local airline threatened with litigation by the FIFA Mafia only on the basis that they were using copyrighted words (you know, standard words like 'World Cup' and '2010' and even the stated time period) to promote off-peak sales for tickets on national routes during the World Cup. More on that one another time.

And on and on and on and on the stories continue of South Africans being shafted by the FIFA behemoth.

3. The hype surrounding how much money this country was going to make because of the World Cup was outrageous in its proportion. Hotels jacked up their prices for the period by up to 400%. Homeowners in the leafy, upmarket northern suburbs of Johannesburg suddenly told their existing tenants to get the hell out of their properties in preparation for the fortunes they were going to make for rates of up to R1000 per person per day for each hapless football tourist. And blocked off the entire months of June and July just for this purpose. As if any tourist in their right mind would want to spend more than the absolute minimum amount of days necessary in this boring, sprawling and crime-ridden city that is Johannesburg!

At first we all bitched about the sheer stupendous greed of pretentious hotels and homeowners in Cape Town (after all, in the South African lexicon Cape Town is pretentiousness), typical money-grabbing Joburgers and basically stupidly greedy people and businesses throughout the country. And all of these people were ridiculously greedy. BUT, let it be known, all of this insane greed was built around all the ridiculous hype surrounding the Cup and fueled to the hilt by both the SA government and, especially, it now transpires, FIFA and the local organizing committee.

4. The greed of FIFA in full collusion with the South African government and the disgusting super-elite of this country continues: all those top, highly lucrative FIFA copyrights are basically in the hands of just a handful of South Africa's elite, as well as, of course, Sepp Blatter (Head Capo of FIFA) and his henchmen. This has become public domain knowledge and widely reported in our national media in recent months.

5. Remember that black female entrepreneur stuck with a fast food franchise near a stadium that she cannot open for business? It gets much worse. It transpires that within a full square kilometer of the said stadium, there is an absolute block on anyone selling any type of soda, beer, etc, or any food, because both McDonalds and Coca-Cola have a total blanket on sales of food and drink in said 'exclusion zone'. Talk about monopolistic, fascistic uber-capitalism at its worst! So there goes any opportunity for any local vendor, including hundreds if not thousands of the local poor, wanting to capitalize on selling a few Fanta Oranges or Castle Lager beers or boerewors rolls (a spicy South African sausage in a roll) near the stadium during World Cup matches. Not to mention no local or other African artists allowed to sell their artwork anywhere near any of the stadia. To hell with them - they don't f***ing count, right?

6. Match, the company set up and owned by FIFA to primarily sell World Cup tickets, as well as other package tour-type promotions, etc, for the Cup has left South Africa high and dry. Just a few days ago it was divulged that they had suddenly released a further 150 000 tickets for sale, due to poor sales (not to mention at exorbitant prices and on the back of ridiculously priced package tours from Europe and other destinations to South Africa). This after the first 'release of remaining tickets' by the organizers just a few months ago. Price tickets have come down, sometimes dramatically so, as organizers realized that tickets and packages for hotels and flights, etc, simply were not selling.

And those selling estimates and forecasts were made by Match itself, with, of course, the full blessing of FIFA itself. The huge problem (not to mention bloody scandal) is that all of these tickets, hotel beds and flights to South Africa, etc, were all block booked ages ago by Match and its authorised subsidiaries and 'partners', including the national airline, South African Airways. That means promises were made of huge bookings at huge profits for the World Cup and now - just weeks and even days from the opening ceremony - Match is suddenly dumping all of these block bookings on South African and international airlines, hotels, tour operators, and the like. No explanation, no apology. And so these very companies (who, let's face it, bought into all the mass hype and outrageous promises by FIFA due to their own bloody greed) must now scramble around in these dying days prior to the World Cup just to try and sell these suddenly available tickets, etc.

The list of World Cup 2010 scandals goes on and on and on. They are being divulged now on an ongoing, seemingly daily basis. It's disgusting, even tiresome now. And such a shame when one considers how much there was by this country's poor and even not-so-poor with regard to being host of the 2010 World Cup.

All the corruption, all the politics, all the selling out of a nation's poor with over-hype and false promises, are a further indication of what a disgrace FIFA has become. And yet further proof of just how corrupt and self-serving a very select ANC-coddled elite exists and thrives in this country, a super-rich, super-powerful elite clique that is making a mockery of the liberation struggle by millions of South Africans, not to mention the unforgivable daily grind of the millions of poor in this country of supposed plenty.

This despicable elite has sold South Africa out to an unaccountable, unethical organization like FIFA - and they should be bloody ashamed of themselves. FIFA is the embodiment of a protectionist, corporatist racket masquerading as 'modern business'. The South African government and elite are more than ever the embodiment of a sham liberation democracy.

Yes, the Beautiful Game will almost certainly be beautiful at times. Yes, there was a surge of (temporary, mostly unsustainable) jobs in construction and infrastructure in this country, which was (to a certain extent) a buffer for the country's economy against the global financial crisis. And, yes, I am quite sure South Africa will do a proud job as host. Of all that I am quite sure. And so it should be.

But, in the end, when the games have been played and the tourists have gone and the magic dust has settled, the vast majority of South Africans will look around and ask themselves: What was the big deal? Where is all the money we should have made? Why didn't I, Mr. or Ms. Tshabalala or Mr. or Ms. Botha or Mr. or Ms. Chaterjee, make more hay whilst the sun shone on our nation? What's wrong with this picture?

In the end, this nation promised so much will get so very little. And that's a crying sham(e).

Do you get my point?