RANT: King Shaka Would've Wept

South Africa has fared commendably well in hosting the 2010 World Cup. Our FIFAdom has done the world's biggest football showcase proud (not to mention the money-grabbing FIFA capos and local elite, of course).

But there have been some major gaffes along the way. The Bavaria beer mini skirted Dutch lasses come to mind. But few things about this World Cup have infuriated me more than the debacle that occurred at King Shaka International Airport in Durban on Wednesday night. Okay, the infernal vuvuzela has infuriated me more, but this comes damn close.

It was the night that Spain were playing Germany in the semi-finals of the Cup at the Durban stadium. So, naturally, the airport was quite busy with flights coming in and out. So busy that three aircraft, two from Johannesburg and one from Cape Town, were forced to return to their departure airports because there were no parking bays available.

Yip, that's right, a purpose-built spanking brand new airport which cost R6.8-billion (almost a billion US dollars) and dubbing itself 'International' just couldn't cope with a few extra domestic flights. So much for planning, guys.

The kind of planning that would have made the famous Zulu warrior, King Shaka, roar with anger. Or weep in shame.

But it gets better. The actual reason given by the Airports Company South Africa (ACSA) as to why the three planes had to return was because...wait for it, because it's jaw-dropping stuff... there were simply too many 'VIP' jets on the tarmac that refused to budge.

What?!

That's right. A bunch of VIP jets had supposedly parked willy-nilly all over the tarmac (as one would expect at an international airport during an international event) AND, better still, flatly refused to budge when asked to do so by air traffic control.

As a result, 700 people were left stranded back in Johannesburg and Cape Town. And many of them were football fans who had spent small fortunes on flights and tickets to attend the semi-final in Durban.

Have you ever heard such outrageous crap in all your life?!

Let's consider:

1. Since when does an airport authority and traffic control get told what to do by any airplane or any pilot sitting on any tarmac at any airport?
2. What happened to that trusted, ages-old stalwart which is absolutely mandatory for any flight anywhere in the world, namely a flight plan? You know - the one that allows a flight to take off from one place so that it may actually land at its pre-scheduled destination? Barring inclement weather or security issues or some type of emergency, why else should an aircraft not land at its destination?
3. A fleet of jets belonging to a bunch of self-important VIP tossers who are too arrogant and self-important to shift on a tarmac is not an emergency.
4. Would these same aircraft pilots for these Very Very Important People dare to pull such a stunt at an airport in Europe? Or the United States? Or most other countries for that matter? No, of course they wouldn't dare. But this is Africa - so to hell with us and our silly little aviation needs and rules.
5. Who exactly are these 'Very Important People' who can have their jets do as they please at an airport and have ACSA running around like headless chickens and making the most appallingly stupid excuses to these passengers and the South African public the next day? I want to see a list of these pompous, arrogant schmucks.
6. If this isn't a superb example of just how elitist and 'VIP'-whored this World Cup (and the world in general these days) has become, then I don't know what is.
7. Is it any surprise that some of these pesky little VIP jets belonged to FIFA? Enough said.

On their website's homepage, ACSA has a press release entitled "ACSA claries the King Shaka International Airport congestion". I think they meant to say clarifies. Ahem.

And that word "congestion" does rather rankle.

The latest travesty is that, after much outcry by passengers and the media alike, ACSA has now deigned to reimburse those passengers who had the Trip From Hell that night. BUT, let it be known, only those people who can prove that they had tickets for the game that night and were intending to attend. So to hell with those other suckers that night on those three aircraft who just happened to be flying to Durban for whatever other (clearly totally irrelevant) reasons. They lose all their money. That does make sense.

ACSA has been nothing short of an embarrassment. This entire debacle has been nothing short of an embarrassment.

The capitulation to those who consider themselves above the law and, of course, the rest of us is beyond embarrassing. It's disgusting in its blatant and feudalistic elitism.

So much for having an 'equal and fair' playing ground for all fans at this year's FIFA(dom) World Cup.

Do you get my point?