TINAWA: "Ironical"

The English language is under constant, full-blown attack. This is an increasingly dumbed down world in which people revel in being ignorant and uncultured. Where bad spelling and grammar were once the domain of the dyslexic or the suitably embarrassed, either of which was understandable, now the inability to spell or construct sentences properly is a badge of honour.

Typos and mistakes made in a rush we all make and I can accept, all-out hacking of a language I will not.

Enter my latest category, TINAWA = That Is Not A Word, Asshole.

Call it a rant with a twist.

So, which made up, nonsensical word grates me like George W. Bush opening his mouth?

"IRONICAL"

Huh?



Again and again I hear this gem, which simply must be a non-existent word. If it is one, then what, pray tell, of the word ironic?

Ironical? Nonsensical.

Ignorance is not always bliss, baby.

TINAWA!!!

RANT: A Tree Becomes a Country

I REALLY HATE bad spelling and poor grammar. We all make mistakes and my e-mails and even these posts have typos, no doubt. But the standards these days are beyond the pale - at every level, whether it be in the workplace, in social media or simply receiving correspondence from someone.

But what I ABSOLUTELY ABHOR AND WILL NOT FORGIVE is bad spelling or poor grammar by people who should know better. By this I mean the likes of book publishers, editors, journalists and frankly anyone who uses the English language as a means of making a buck - and, once again, should know better.

It's NOT acceptable.

Sometimes one can spot an innocent typo and move on - I don't wish to be a Grammar Nazi - but sometimes the 'mistake' is so glaring that it is nothing more than stupidity, ignorance or laziness.

Take this corker of an example I came across when reading an article today about gold medals versus total medals at an Olympics, as linked from Yahoo News:

"There are some critics who balk at the medal count debate, citing the sheer number of competitors from bigger countries like China and the United States. The country of Cypress has just 13 members in its Olympic party. They probably aren't going to compete in any medal tallies."
Cypress?! Where the hell is that? Is that near the country of Lesbian, I guess? Or should that be Lebanon...? Is it Angora or Andorra? Gonorrhea or Ghana? Endives or Maldives? The possibilities are endless...

I know, I know, I am being so pedantic and so picky, even though last time I checked it was Cyprus, you lame excuse for a human being!



And this on a well-regarded site like www.bleacherreport.com and written with such assured aplomb by a 'professional' called Dan Levy, who is accredited as being no less than the site's "National Lead Writer." And that's what really, really irks - here's some pillock who doesn't even know how to spell a country like Cyprus, and yet he has a no doubt cushy job writing away an online sports site. He probably works all comfy from home, has a whole host of online followers and 'fans' and is feted as a proper journalist.

Cypress is a tree - I know, I know, they sound awfully similar but, hey, bitch to the citizens of Cyprus, Danny boy. I wasn't at the naming ceremony of that particular nation state - sorry.
And that is where we are today - crass mediocrity of this sort gets a good, paying job as a writer, when he would have been laughed at (and unemployed as a writer) just twenty short years ago. And I have to read this ignorant crap and just pretend it's all okay? I don't think so.

So, which is it? Ignorance? Stupidity?Or plain laziness? It actually doesn't matter - they're all bad.

And stupid, ignorant laziness should never be acceptable.

Do you get my point?

RAVE: Know Your Grammar, Or You're Out!

My friend Charleen Clark (who is also chief editor of a terrific local magazine for which I write a bi-monthly article called SHEQ Management) sent me this via e-mail. It is a positively stunning and razor sharp diatribe by a very successful online entrepreneur against what he sees as the unforgivable sin in business today - namely, poor grammar.

It had me grinning from ear to ear. This type of opinion piece offers much comfort and solace to all those of us who regale on a daily basis against the hacking of the English language by those too uncouth, too uncultured or simply too damn lazy to write correct English.

It's always good to know that we are not alone!

It is worth reproducing here:

I Won't Hire People Who Use Poor Grammar. Here's Why.

by Kyle Wiens  |   8:02 AM July 20, 2012

If you think an apostrophe was one of the 12 disciples of Jesus, you will never work for me. If you think a semicolon is a regular colon with an identity crisis, I will not hire you. If you scatter commas into a sentence with all the discrimination of a shotgun, you might make it to the foyer before we politely escort you from the building.

Some might call my approach to grammar extreme, but I prefer Lynne Truss's more cuddly phraseology: I am a grammar "stickler." And, like Truss — author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves — I have a "zero tolerance approach" to grammar mistakes that make people look stupid.

Now, Truss and I disagree on what it means to have "zero tolerance." She thinks that people who mix up their itses "deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave," while I just think they deserve to be passed over for a job — even if they are otherwise qualified for the position.

Everyone who applies for a position at either of my companies, iFixit or Dozuki, takes a mandatory grammar test. Extenuating circumstances aside (dyslexia, English language learners, etc.), if job hopefuls can't distinguish between "to" and "too," their applications go into the bin.

Of course, we write for a living. iFixit.com is the world's largest online repair manual, and Dozuki helps companies write their own technical documentation, like paperless work instructions and step-by-step user manuals. So, it makes sense that we've made a preemptive strike against groan-worthy grammar errors.

But grammar is relevant for all companies. Yes, language is constantly changing, but that doesn't make grammar unimportant. Good grammar is credibility, especially on the internet. In blog posts, on Facebook statuses, in e-mails, and on company websites, your words are all you have. They are a projection of you in your physical absence. And, for better or worse, people judge you if you can't tell the difference between their, there, and they're.

Good grammar makes good business sense — and not just when it comes to hiring writers. Writing isn't in the official job description of most people in our office. Still, we give our grammar test to everybody, including our salespeople, our operations staff, and our programmers.

On the face of it, my zero tolerance approach to grammar errors might seem a little unfair. After all, grammar has nothing to do with job performance, or creativity, or intelligence, right?

Wrong. If it takes someone more than 20 years to notice how to properly use "it's," then that's not a learning curve I'm comfortable with. So, even in this hyper-competitive market, I will pass on a great programmer who cannot write.

Grammar signifies more than just a person's ability to remember high school English. I've found that people who make fewer mistakes on a grammar test also make fewer mistakes when they are doing something completely unrelated to writing — like stocking shelves or labeling parts.

In the same vein, programmers who pay attention to how they construct written language also tend to pay a lot more attention to how they code. You see, at its core, code is prose. Great programmers are more than just code monkeys; according to Stanford programming legend Donald Knuth they are "essayists who work with traditional aesthetic and literary forms." The point: programming should be easily understood by real human beings — not just computers.

And just like good writing and good grammar, when it comes to programming, the devil's in the details. In fact, when it comes to my whole business, details are everything.

I hire people who care about those details. Applicants who don't think writing is important are likely to think lots of other (important) things also aren't important. And I guarantee that even if other companies aren't issuing grammar tests, they pay attention to sloppy mistakes on résumés. After all, sloppy is as sloppy does.

That's why I grammar test people who walk in the door looking for a job. Grammar is my litmus test. All applicants say they're detail-oriented; I just make my employees prove it.

[[Editors' note: If you're interested in improving your writing skills, please consider ourGuide to Better Business Writing book]]

KYLE WIENS

Kyle Wiens is CEO of iFixit, the largest online repair community, as well as founder ofDozuki, a software company dedicated to helping manufacturers publish amazing documentation.

I simply could not have said it any better.

Hear, hear!

RAVE: Hacking the English Language Can Be Fun!

I've just made my fellow spelling- and grammar-obsessed brethren at the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar my Site of the Day. And with good reason.

Below is their latest post, headlined, "So That's What She Does With the Extra Virgin Olive Oil"



SPOGG's Martha Brockenbrough follows up by commenting (my italics for emphasis:

Thanks to assorted SPOGGers who sent this along, we now know that Rachael Ray is a cannibal. A cannibal who not only gets nutrition from cooking her family and her dog, but also inspiration.


We think we're going to barf right about ... now.

(And yes, this demonstrates why commas are sometimes very necessary. But next time we're hungry, we'll be sure to consult her recipe for cooking family members. Some of our nieces and nephews look delicious.)

More from the site dating back to January of this year (italics and bold for emphasis):

Tales from the Casting Ouch



Our monthly feature, as compiled and commented upon by a genuine Hollywood Actress:




Lets get payed!


Let's get an apostrophe and a spell checker!




You're list of credits.


Please give that apostrophe to the previous guy, and drop the E, because you are wrong.




I've got rythm.


No, no, you don't.




We are an independant movie.


Do you offer pendants? I could use another necklace.



Brilliant stuff.

SITE OF THE DAY: The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar

There's a fantastic blog that I like to visit once in a while, and which always provides a damn good laugh or more. It's at www.grammatically.blogspot.com and is run Martha Brockenbrough under the auspices of the 'Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar', or SPOGG. She's even written a book, "Things That Make Us [sic]", which I simply must get to read when I can.

The entire blog is one scathing, merciless attack after another on advertisers, newspapers, magazines, all media for that matter, or simple ordinary folk who have the affront to maim, hack and basically cripple the English language. It can be whether the offending party (and, let's face it, people who hack the beautiful English language are offensive) left out a word, misspelt a word or mangled grammar in any way, shape or form. 

Or, if they do that which seems to be SPOGG's definite bete noir (it certainly is mine), and use an apostrophe inappropriately.

Ah, yes, I do know what that can do to one.

Why, oh why, must people use the apostrophe with such wild and stupid abandon?!!

Take a big breath, Vittorio...

I can only be thankful for other people who feel the same way that I do, and doubly thankful for a site as witty and unwaivering as that provided by Ms. Brockenbrough and her SPOGG.