RAVE: Eurovision Song Contest - Tackarama Time Again

I have not written on this blog for two months now, and what is the first thing that compels me to post again after such a long hiatus? The death of Maggie Thatcher? No. The continued slide of Greece and others in the Eurozone ongoing crisis? No. The continued Western-manipulated madness in the so-called 'Syrian civil war'...? No again.

No, I'm afraid what compels me this time to return to this blog with which I sometimes have a love-hate relationship is none other than this year's Eurovision Song Contest. Yip, it's that time of the year again, and sometimes it is only the ridiculous and not the sublime that motivates one to recommit to one's blog.

What can I say - at times I can be a shallow fellow...

Anyway, the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest will be held in just a few hours time in the Swedish city of Mälmo. The two Semi-Finals have come and gone, and once again there have been some pretty good songs and way too many poor ones.  And so I must myself give my top 10 and award my douze points to my favourite for the year in homage to the Contest and Grand Final tonight.


Thankfully, the field wasn't rife with utter dirge this year, as happens way too often at Eurovision, but neither has it been a stellar year. Whilst few songs utterly offended (although there were a few, trust me...Greece, anyone?), there were fewer really great or stand-out songs in the 2013 field when compared with the last few years. For one thing, there has been no song that I absolutely loved and so want to win this year, as happened last year with the fabulous disco entry from Sweden (Euphoria by Loreen), which did go on to win the 2012 Contest in emphatic style, or the utterly charming 2011 entry from Finland (which went nowhere in the final that year, alas). No, this year had a few that I liked quite a lot, and quite a few middling songs, but nothing that I am really, really cheering on. 

And, for another, there were just way too many songs playing the ballade or quirky ethnic card. And those are two genres that seldom rock my boat come Eurovision time.

Perhaps when they all perform tonight I will suddenly find myself cheering on one particular song, or a few that I wouldn't mind winning, but that only time will tell. 

But anyway, here then are my top 10 songs for the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest:

1 point (10th place): 
GERMANY
Glorious by Cascada

I don't love this song, but it's got a catchy hook and it's a half-decent techro dance song, that could be a passable hit on the dance floors of Europe this summer. Cascada sings with aplomb and is sexy enough, and she just beat out the songs from Estonia and Azerbaijan to just make my top 10. it's also the best of the Big Five nation entries (see more below).

Chances? I think Germany will do very well in the voting, although not a possible winner as many are predicting. It could well make the Top 5 though.

2 points (9th place):
NORWAY
I Feed You My Love by Margaret Berger 

This song doesn't start too well, and it missed out on being a truly terrific electro-inspired dance hit by the way it's mixed and the lack of a resounding and memorable tempo. However, I like it, and I think Margaret Berger is quite a beautiful and compelling presence on the stage in a very Nordic sort of way.  

Chances? Not that good, actually. It will score well with other Nordic nations, of course, and may make the top 10 on the night, but that'll be it's best aspirations in terms of votes.It will probably finish more mid-table.

3 points (8th place):
HUNGARY
Kedvesem by ByeAlex

Hungary continues its frankly surprising tradition in being one of my favourite Eurovision countries, although I' not as mad about this one as their 2011 entry, or even last year's. And, to be honest, this wasn't even in my initial top 10 before the semi-finals. However, a very cool, very breezy song came to the fore during the 2nd Semi-Final and it really caught my attention. In a field dominated by overwrought or too-simplistic ballades or euphoric dance wannabes, this very low-key but catchy entry from Hungary stands out.

Chances? Once again, Hungary will bomb in the voting and come close to last in the voting, which, once again, will be a pity and undeserved.

4 points (7th place):
FINLAND
Marry Me by Krista Siegfrids

This is not a great song by any means, but it has one hell of a catchy riff and some cheeky and ironic lyrics to boot. Krista Siegfrids is no doubt Pink-inspired but her tune is all rainbow-hued, given the genuinely surprising little twist at the end of her ditty when she kisses one of the chorus girls and it becomes apparent this was a gay-themed wedding proposal. Very cute and very knowing, and for that alone it garners this place. And it's annoyingly catchy too!

Chances? This may surprise, and do quite well, maybe even a top 10 finish, although I do think the lesbian kiss at song's end may offend the sensibilities  of half of  Europe (the eastern and Muslim Europe, of course), so it'll probably do quite poorly in the end. Too bad.

5 points (6th place):
MALTA
Tomorrow by Gianluca 

This is a sweet song and the boy sure can sing. He has a lovely, distinct voice and the song is catchy. However, that's about it - he's sweet, the song is sweet, but it's hardly a wow song and has a tendency to be a bit too low-key and lackadaisical for its own good, which is a pity - Gianluca deserved a more memorable and better song. He should be singing for Belgium, in fact! Still, a charming little song (of sorts), and I do like it.

Chances? Middling at best - Malta of late invariably does quite poorly on the night of voting, and I suspect this year will be no different.

6 points (5th place):
MOLDOVA
O Mie by Aliona Moon  

Believe it or not, this is more Italian-sounding than either the entries from Italy or San Marino, even though it is sung in Romanian. This was one of the most pleasant surprises of the semi final stages. Aliona Moon can sing, no doubt about it, her dress and the staging of the song were incredible by any standards, and the song has quite some power to it. I do wish the song were more memorable, but even so Moldova should take pride in what is a beautifully stage and sung entry, never mind a sophisticated one at that.

Chances? I would love to think this one will do well, and it may just sneak in to the Top 10 or even possibly the Top 5 if it can garner enough of the Balkan and Eastern European votes, which it just may. Middling at worst, I think this could be one of the surprise entries in voting terms tonight.

7 points (4th place):
UKRAINE
Gravity by Zlata Ognevich

I really like this one. Unabashedly Eurotrash electro disco-inspired, this year's Ukrainian entry is sung with real verve and power by Zlata Ognevich, who has terrific stage presence and is beautiful to boot. I usually don't like the Ukrainian entry, so this was a really great surprise for me this year. This one has grown and grown on me, and I won't be surprised if it even sneaks into my own Top 3 by the end of the night. Knowingly catchy, this is slick techno pop production at its best. 

Chances: This could go two ways - it'll either do amazingly well on the night and make the Top 3 in the votes, or it'll just get lost in all the voting and come a disappointing mid-table or even worse. I do hope it'll be the former. Go, Zlata!

And now my top 3 songs for Eurovision 2013:

8 points (3rd place):
RUSSIA
What If by Dina Garipova

This lady has a beautiful and assured voice, that much I know. And it came across without a shadow of a doubt during her semi-final performance. However, to be honest, her sweet song is not usually teh type of song that appeals to me, and I would hardly classify it as brilliant. But it is memorable, and it has E-u-r-o-v-i-s-i-o-n writ write across it. A cynical ploy by the Russians to win this year's Contest? Perhaps, although I somehow doubt it, and anyway it's a lovely, beautifully sung song in its own right. After the embarrassing debacle that was the Russian grab-a-granny entry last year, this has amply made up for that.


Chances? Whatever everyone is saying about either Denmark or Sweden being the big favourites this year, I say that this Russian entry could go the whole way and win it. I certainly don't see it doing worse than about 10th place or so, and will very probably make the Top 5 or even Top 3 with ease. 

10 points (2nd place):
IRELAND
Only Love Survives by Ryan Dolan

I actually didn't much care for this when I first heard it prior to the semi-finals. But, I must say, Ryan Dolan blew me away with his fantastic stage performance on the night and, better still, the guy can sing really well. And I really like this song, Eurotrashy, poppy and quite thunderous dance tune that it is. It's got great pace, it makes you want to dance and its the best of its type. After so many years of giving us frankly dull or overly campy entries, it's such a treat to see Ireland back with such a strong, memorable song. 

Chances? I know that some are saying that this will do very well on the night, but I'm going to be a party pooper and say it's going to fizzle rather than sizzle in the votes, and will be middling at best, or, probably even low in the table. A top 5 position will be amazing - and for all the wrong reasons. Which is a shame - it deserves a great finish, and I would be even happy with it winning Eurovision. Surely I'm not the only one who misses Dublin being a host city?    

And finally, my favourite song for Eurovision this year:

12 points (1st place):
BELGIUM 
Love Kills by Roberto Bellarosa

 

I cannot remember the last time my favourite Eurovision song was such a touch-and-go choice and whose singer made me so damn nervous. Belgium's entry was definitely my favourite going into the semi-finals - I loved the build-up in the song, thought the orchestration multi-layered and really terrific, and loved it for being catchy and yet modern enough without being cloying. However, I soon started reading online reports that 17-year-old Roberto Bellarosa was extremely shaky in voice on stage and also lacked charisma as a performer. His semi-final performance was decent enough, but I did see evidence of a shaky voice at times, and the kid is neither gorgeous nor a natural stage talent. Still, he did pull it off, and the song is very strong and compelling. And, for all my hesitation with his voice and showman persona, I still really love this song and so Belgium must get my douze points for 2013.

Chances? I'm a realist, and I do believe Belgium will score poorly on the night, and may even come in the bottom 5, unfortunately. A lower middle ranking in the voting will be a stellar result, which is really not fair - but so it goes at Eurovision. 

So, there they are: my top 10 songs for the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest.

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And what of the other entries? As I said before, Denmark is a big favourite, and whilst the song is catchy and she has a good voice, I just don't like the song. Way too many fiddles and evocations of middle-Europa Celtic music for my liking. Host country Sweden's entry I think sucks, whatever all the hype with the boy who belts it out. It'll do very well in the votes, of course, but it's still forgettable. Iceland were a total surprise for me in qualifying from their semi-final, and now people are saying it'll do well in the votes, but I don't believe that at all. The guy has a great voice, but the song is forgettable shite.

I do like the Azerbaijan entry and it just missed out on making my Top 10. The boy is very cute (if very short, it must be said LOL) and he has a good voice, and the song is catchy, albeit a bit too weak form me at times. BUT I think this song will score very well and even possibly make the Top 5 with the votes. Another Eurovision night in fabulous Baku? That may be pushing it too far. 

Estonia has possibly the most beautiful girl singing on the night and she has a really beautiful, melodious voice. I applaud the Estonians for submitting a song in their own language, but I just so wish the song were memorable or more rousing, It may score okay on the night, although probably not more than middling at best. 

Greece should have its entire band put up against a wall and shot. The worst entry of the year (even crappy Montengro at least was funky and out there), with an ethnic noise that is actually very cynical in trying to get the Euroyouth vote - and it will score very well, of course. Just watch Greece make the top 3. Just to annoy me. The Romania entry, sung by a campy contratenor that lets rip and makes Jimmy Somerville look butch, is loved by some, and loathed by others - I tend to be firmly in the latter camp, if you pardon the pun. I admire his courage and the song has its moments, but Somerville did falsetto far better and I ultimately hate the whole thing, even if it will probably do quite well on the night. Or it may come mid-table. Georgia's effort is a swooning ballade by a couple with lovely voices, but it never stops building and just gets too shrieky and too over-the-top for my liking. It will do well in the voting, though, of that I am quite sure.
Lithuania is loved by my mom, but I think the guy is off-key and the song is frankly crap, and I don't think it'll do well on the night. She also really likes Armenia, another entry which I think is rubbish, this time because it just sounds like really bad 80s soft rock. I also think it'll do very poorly in the voting. It's really yuck, mom! The Netherlands was a shock qualifier, and whilst the lady is really lovely to look at and has a great smoky voice, the song is so bad and so off the wall that it simply remains...bad. And, no, I do not expect it do well in the voting - at all. Belarus is the scary dark horse of the night, along with the detestable Greeks, and some are even saying Eurovision 2014 could be in Minsk. I really hope not - it's a valiant enough attempt at amped up Eurotrash beat, but the hook is annoying and she sings English so badly, bless her.  

The 'Big Five' who automatically qualify for the Grand Final once again let all and sundry down with a hash of indifferent and unmemorable songs, which is a real pity. Italy is the best after Germany, although it is a very typical Italian ballade sung by a raspy-voiced guy who sounds just like Eros Ramazotti (although this San Remo winner is decidedly cuter, I must say). Italy will score okay, but nothing beyond mid-table this year. France's entry is, once again, so off-the-cuff and so clearly a non-winner that one wonders why they even bother, even if each year I am still glad to see that France is around. It'll score very poorly. The UK is going with Bonnie Tyler this year, and the song is weak and quite forgettable. Furthermore, I never liked Ms. Tyler's voice, and this entry does nothing to enhance my opinion of her, pro that she is. The UK will once again tank in the voting. As for Spain - incredibly forgettable and utter rubbish. It'll come last on the night and it could even be nul points for Spain this year - just watch.
 
And so that's it for now - now all I must do is sit back and watch the whole tacky, wonderful spectacle unfold. And probably hate the winner, of course. And for all of that I am thankful.

Go Belgium, Go Ireland! :-) 

Yes, it's Eurovision Song Contest time again!